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幽默笑话段子大全_英文幽默笑话故事大全
幽默笑话段子大全_英文幽默笑话故事大全1
Dying in peace安然死亡
Helen was on her deathbed ,海伦躺在她临终的病床上奄奄一息。
with her husband Jack at her side.
她的丈夫陪在她的身旁。
He held her cold hand and tears silently streamed down his face.
他握着她冰冷的手，泪水静静地从他的脸上流下来。
Her pale lip moved. "Jack," she said,"
她苍白的嘴唇颤动着。她说：“杰克，”
Hush," he quickly interrupted, "Don't talk."
他很快就打断说：“嘘，不要说话。”
But she insisted,"Jack,"she said in her tired voice.
但是她坚持要说。她以疲惫的.声音说：
"I have to talk.I must confess.”
“杰克，我一定要说。我必须向你坦白。”
"There is nothing to confess,"said the weeping Jack.
满脸泪水的杰克说：“没什么好坦白的。
"It's all right.Everything's all right."
没关系。一切都没事。”
"No,No!I must die in peace.I must confess,Jake ,that I have been unfaithful to you."
“不，不，我必须死得安心。我一定要坦白我对你不忠;红杏出墙。”
Jack stroked her hand .
杰克抚摸着她的手。
"Now ,Helen,don't be concerned.I know all about it," he sobbed.
他啜泣着说：“海伦，现在你不要担心了。我全部都知道了。
"Why else would I poison you ?"
不然我为什幺要毒死你呀?"
幽默笑话段子大全_英文幽默笑话故事大全2
guardian angle守护天使
A man was walking in the street when he heard a voice:
有一名男子正走在街上的时候听到一个声音：
"Stop!Stand still!If you take one more step,a brick will fall down on your head and kill you."
“停!站住不要动瞅口果你再走一步，就会有一个砖块掉到你的头上砸死你。”
The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him.
这名男子停住了，一个大砖块就掉在他的.面前。
The man was astonished .
这名男子非常惊讶。
He went on,and after a while he was going to cross the road.
他继续向前走：不久后，他要穿越马路。
Once again the voice shouted;
那个声音再次叫说：
Stop!Stand still!If you take one more step a car will over you and you will die."
“停!站住不要动，如果你再走一步，就会有一辆汽车辗过你，你就会死掉。”
The man did as he was instructed,这名男子因为曾被指示过，所以就照着做，just as a car came careening around the corner,barely missing him.
此时正好有一辆汽车左摇右晃地冲过转角处，差一点撞上他。
"Where are you? " the man asked,"Who are you? "
这名男子问说：“你在哪里?你是谁?”
"I am your guardian angle," the voice answered.
这个声音回答说：“我是你的守护天使。…”
"Oh yeah?" the man asked."And where the hell were you when I got married?"
这名男子问说：“喔，是吗?那我结婚的时候：你死到哪里去了?”
幽默笑话段子大全_英文幽默笑话故事大全3
Why me lord主啊为什么是我
A man was wandering around in a field ,有名男子在田野里徘徊
thinking about how good his wife had been to him and how fortunate he was to have her,心里想着他的老婆对他有多么好，他多么幸运拥有她。
He asked God,"Why did you make her so kind hearted?"
他问上帝：“你为什么要把她造得这么心地善良?”
The Lord responded,"So you could love her ,my son."
主响应说：“我儿呀，这样你就会爱她呀。”
"Why did you make her so good looking?"
“你为什么要把她造得这么貌美呢?”
"So you could love her,my son ."
“我儿呀，这样你就会爱她呀。”
"Why did you make her such a good cook?"
“你为什么要把她造成一个很会做饭菜的'人呢?”
"So you could love her,my son."
“我儿呀，这样你就会爱她呀。”
The man thought about this.
这名男子想了一下这件事。
Then he said ," I don't mean to seem ungrateful or anything,but,why did you make her so stupid? "
然后他说:“我并不是有意好像我不知好歹，或是什么的,可是，你为什么把她造得这么笨?”
"So she could love you,my son."
“ 我儿呀，这样她就会爱你呀。”
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